Kal Penn is to Barack Obama what Marilyn Monroe was to John F. Kennedy


By Kevin Dujan

I grew up in the 80s and 90s and can vividly remember the rise of shows like Hard Copy and Inside Edition and when Entertainment Tonight started to be more of a tabloid show after Mary Hart and John Tesh were no longer the main hosts; all of these shows back then titillated their audiences with stories at least once a month about the sexual affair “rumored” to have been conducted between President Kennedy and actress Marilyn Monroe. I recall seeing a book called “Candle in the Wind” in a Waldenbooks in the mall when I was in 7th or 8th grade that was an alternate history novel where Marilyn survived the Kennedy Family’s attempt on her life and went on to expose JFK, his father and his brother and all the rest, for the thugs they were. I believe in the book, now long out of print, Marilyn was hated for bringing the president down and faded into obscurity…and by the 80s was fat, ravaged by time, and doing dinner theater in casinos somewhere.

In the 80s, people would still almost whisper when they talked about JFK and Marilyn but in the years since then it’s been more or less established that, yes, President Kennedy used to sleep around on Jackie and indeed had a romantic relationship with the actress (along with many other people). The tapes that Princess Caroline of Kennedy released to the public (against her mother’s wishes) feature Jackie at one pointing talking about hating Marilyn and complaining about her calling all the time and taunting her — which is something I have no trouble picturing Marilyn doing (like how Kathleen Turner in Serial Mom would prank call her neighbors and use vile language to raise their blood pressure).

Some day, twenty years or so form now, you’re going to just accept as similar fact that actor Kal Penn and President Obama had a romantic relationship that began on the 2008 campaign trail and continued when Obama asked Penn to move to Washington so they could be close to one another and the two could have sex more frequently.

Future biographies of President Obama must contain entire chapters devoted to how Penn’s presence in the White House affected and strained Obama’s relationship with longtime “body man” Reggie Love, who friends and acquaintances since his days playing basketball at Duke described as gay. Penn essentially outed himself as gay last night at the Democrat Conventionin Charlotte when he talked about Obama “allowing us all to gay marry”, including himself in the “us all” who can now “gay marry”. Not many straight guys are excited about being able to “gay marry” because of Obama…or in Penn’s case, possibly wanting to “gay marry” Obama in the future.

I personally believe that Barack Obama was molested as a boy by Frank Marshall Davis, an avowed Communist and pedophile living in Hawaii whom Obama’s mother Stanley Ann Durham insisted Obama spend time with because she wanted his views to influence her son. Knowing how bizarre Stanley was, it seems likely she also wanted Marshall to introduce Obama to sex at a young age. You just can’t read any biography about Obama’s childhood without constantly encountering things like this that make your skin crawl. Just about every radical person, degenerate, or opponent of the United States played some Forrest Gump-style visit to young Barack Obama when he was growing up. It would not surprise me in the least if one day we found out Charles Manson babysat this guy when he was a kid too. His life story (you know, the one the media still won’t tell us) is just THAT STRANGE.

All of this stuff will come out once he’s out of office.

All of JFK’s secrets came out too, about twenty years after Johnson became President.

Perhaps the Internet and its free flow of information will hasten things along.

But there seems to be quite the stable of men like Kal Penn who have unusual relationships with this President: Reggie Love, Nick Colwin, Alex Okrent, Michael Signator, Larry Sinclair, and the list goes on.

President Kennedy had Marilyn Monroe and bevies of secretaries and low-level White House female staffers. The 44th President of the United States slept with men and led a very Rock Hudson kind of life in the White House, back when the Hollywood press was still covering up for Hudson’s indiscretions too.

When Newsweek call Barack Obama “The First Gay President” it wasn’t being funny or sarcastic or wry…it was just being ahead of the curve.

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